"Next to Bridge, all other forms of human endeavor shrink to insignificance." -General George S. Patton "We had a 75 percent game last night! Three out of four opponents thought we were idiots." -unknown "Bridge is such a sensational game that I wouldn't mind being in jail if I had three cellmates who were decent players and who were willing to keep the game going 24 hours a day." -Warren Buffett "Bridge is the most entertaining and intelligent card game the wit of man has so far devised." -W. Somerset Maugham "If you have the slightest touch of masochism you'll love this game." -unknown "Sex is like playing Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." -Woody Allen "Too bad, pard, that was an unlucky grand slam — the ace of trumps was offside." -unknown "No matter where I go, I can always make new friends at the Bridge table." -Martina Navratilova "Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you get there faster." -unknown "Many games provide fun, but Bridge grips you. It exercises your mind. Your mind can rust, you know, but Bridge prevents the rust from forming." -Omar Sharif "Bridge is a game of inches; too bad I always have my foot in my mouth." -unknown "Playing Bridge reflects intelligence. It's one of the really great pleasures of life. Anybody who's missing Bridge is missing so much in life." -Malcolm Forbes "I favor light opening bids. When you're my age, you're never sure they're going to get back to you in time." -Oswald Jacoby "In Bridge clubs and in councils of state, the passions are the same.” -Mason Cooley "Old Bridge players never die; they just lose their finesse." -General Douglas MacArthur "Why is it that experts avoid the use of Blackwood, and novices use Blackwood with a void?" -unknown "Years ago there were only two acceptable excuses for not leading the suit your partner had opened; having no cards in the suit, and sudden death." -Alfred Sheinwold "We had a partnership misunderstanding. My partner assumed I knew what I was doing." -unknown "Bridge is too important to take seriously." -Oscar Wilde "It's not enough to win the tricks that belong to you. Try also for some that belong to the opponents." -Alfred Sheinwold "I can always tell a good man by the way he plays Bridge: hard and long." -Mae West "We believe that contract is particularly attractive to people with a scrappy disposition." -Frank Perkins "I never met a man I didn't like, ‘cept the bastard who doubled my slam." - unknown "South: Alert! East: Yes? South: I'm requested to further misdescribe my hand." - unknown